Why I support Macmillan Cancer Care

So! on August 15th, I will be shaving off my grey locks as a fundraising effort for Macmillan at The Hertfordshire Golf & Country Club).

Lots of people have asked me why I'm doing it for Macmillan rather than any of the other (very deserving) cancer charities. So, if you'll forgive me for slightly re-hashing a previous post, I'll explain why.

There are many great cancer charities out there. They raise millions of pounds annually to find cures for cancer and they fund vitally-needed research. As a purely personal opinion, I'd rather see these charities all unite into a single cancer funding organisation - it would be less confusing for people. But they all raise money and do a brilliant job and hopefully the fruits of their labour will continue to see advances made in both treatment and management of cancer.

However, my type of cancer (chronic lymphocytic leukaemia) is terminal and incurable (although it can be slowed down). Hopefully, the folks in the cancer research charities will find a solution in the near future. But, patients with cancer have very diverse, specific and detailed emotional and physical issues which they need to face on a daily basis. Cancer research charities do not address these issues. Macmillan do.

I've talked before in these posts about the importance of managing one's mental health (and that goes for everyone!). I am still prey to those 3am night terrors when everything becomes a little scary and overwhelming. There are still things that I get confused about or things I am not sure about. I am not too proud to admit that there are still (mercifully rare) days when I wonder what's the bloody point in fighting so hard with such an inevitable outcome. Surely it would just be easier to just let the peace and tranquillity of death wrap me in its arms.

And equally: There are still days when even an innocent comment will engender extreme and passionate emotions. I've always struggled with my weight and more so since diagnosis, treatment and lockdown. But recently someone said to my wife "he should walk more - it would be good for him". Really? Well I wouldn't have ever bloody thought of that if you hadn't mentioned it! How can I have been so f**king stupid not to have thought of that?

Guess what genius? I cycle, play golf, walk, garden, and generally exercise every single day. And do you know what? The days when the pain and/or fatigue are so bloody awful that I just cannot face getting out of bed are more frequent than the days when I feel OK. But I still bloody get off my arse and do it!!! And I get bloody pissed off and angry at these bloody amateur medics who read two paragraphs of an article on fitness 12 years ago but now somehow believe themselves to be world bloody experts on the management of my condition and general fitness. What part of "f**k off and stay f**ked off" do they not understand? And actually, while I'm ranting, don't bloody tell me I look well when I know I feel like shit and almost certainly look like it too.

As I said, innocent comments can engender strong emotions! And of course, anger, fear, sadness are wasted emotional energy and those are no use to me. On these occasions, I need to calm down and get some perspective. I just need to recognise that people just mean well. And that's where Macmillan come in. Just someone to vent to. I'm so blessed to have the most wonderful wife but sometimes I feel like she deserves a break and Macmillan are always there to pick up the slack.

But it's not just the management of emotions. It's their general treatment advice and help, it's their financial help and guidance, it's their practical support all the way through the journey. That's what makes them unique. I could fill this entire posts with stories about the diverse services and support they offer - and still not even cover half of what they do.

They got in touch with me on the day I was diagnosed. They have stayed in touch with me all the way through my journey. They are ubiquitous but not intrusive. They are always at hand but only there when I need them. They are there to catch me, but only when I fall. The perfect demonstration of supply meeting demand.

And I know they will be with me all the way to the end, whatever that may be. They will always be there.

That's why I'm doing it for Macmillan. Because they're the bloody dog's bollocks.

Stay Strong. Fight hard. Smile lots.