Sf16 Ep 9: Steering into calmer waters...maybe?

First the good news...

Ok - so let's deal with the good news first.

The diet is going well - I'm (mostly) sticking to my target of 1500 calories a day in a sensibly managed diet, and about 20% of the time, I'm hitting my stretch target of 1200. I'm paying attention to what I eat as much as is possible.

My weight has continued to go down during April. I did have one slightly odd outlier on 16th April but we know now that happens occasionally. Otherwise the weight has continued to go down at a sensible level and it's been a good month.

I've become a lot more comfortable with my process and logging calorie intake, exercise and other information has become second nature. I use Cronometer but there loads of them out there. For me, it just helps to have a visual understanding of what I'm eating. I'm fairly certain I'm nowhere near what my nutritionist would describe as an ideal diet but the reality is that when I do allow myself to eat, there's no point in going for stuff I just can't stand. Brown rice, lentils and greek yoghurt have no invitation to dwell in my pantry and as far as I'm concerned, cottage cheese is simply reconstituted brick mortar.

Being able to see how I'm doing against my target of 1500 max (stretch target is 1200)is very helpful to me because I'm respond well to visuals (although perversely, I'm not a visual learner).

It would be useful to map this against those days when I've done a lot of exsercise, but you can pretty much say that the days when I have the peaks of calories consumed is also the days on which I have exercised the most.

So progress is good and my weight continues to reduce in a controlled and well-managed fashion. I'm happy.

But troubled.

I have this niggling feeling in the back of my mind that simply will not leave me: Have I simply been steering through the calm waters of the early days of a diet and is it going to be much harder from now on?

Anyone who has ever gone on a weight loss programme will tell you that the early days are marked by easy weight loss. There's a number of different reasons for this, but the fact is that it's easy to lose weight at the start of a weight loss programme.

Incidentally, I'm using the terms "diet" and "weight loss programme" interchangeably, but I really shouldn't. A diet tends to be a short term commitment (either by target or time - so for example, I'm going to go on a diet until Christmas, or I'm going to diet until I lose 3 lbs). What I have embarked on is a multi-year long term commitment - it is a programme of linked actions with a common purpose (to get to 16 stone). It is not a diet. It is a weight loss programme. The title of this series of blogs and videos (all of which you can watch and read in glorious wonder at www.gibboblog.uk) is "Striving For Sixteen" but when I get to 16 stone, I do not intend to stop there. I want to get as close to 12 stone as I can but that's one for a future programme!

Stormy waters ahead?

But back to my niggling worry: What if I've "picked all the low-hanging fruit" and that from now it's going to be a lot harder? What if I get frustrated and start to lose commitment and focus.

I've already had a few days where the pain was at level 10 and I gave in to the temptation of emergency chocolate rations. I challenge even the most resolute and disciplined of you out there to stick to your regimented diet when every inch of your body is screaming in pain and you will do absolutely anything just for a moment's indulgence.

Let's be real: I am not enjoying this at all. Being able to reach for a snack or something lovely when I was feeling rubbish was one of my ways of making myself feel better on the worst of days, if which there are many.

Now that option is not available to me but I still have the same number of days when I feel absolutely awful. As my regular reader (singular!) will tell you, losing weight has not led to a lessening of either the incidence or intensity of the pain episodes. I often question my motivation for this weight loss programe (not a diet!) and I struggle to articulate why I'm doing it. Maybe I want to make my loved ones proud of me, maybe I recognise the health benefits and maybe its other reasons.

Being able to articulate the "why" is critical in any change exercise. Why do I want to go a different way to work? Why do I want to change what cereal I buy? Why do I not want to buy that ticket? Understanding the "why" is fundamentally critical and sometimes, I lose focus on my "why" and I recognise the threta to success that presents.

I'm not having fun

Celebrate the small things

The more I think about it, the more the rational part of my brain takes over. I spent a lifetime lecturing people on the importance of having a resilient, proven and repeatable process as part of an improvement process (or transformation). You don't change that plan unless it is no longer proving to be successful.

So my only option is to stick with the plan. Alongside my Cronometer app, I was also put on to Liva (thanks to my wonderful Joint Medical Team). In the Liva app, I have regular check ins with my fully qualified Health Coach as well as access to every possible resouce imaginable.

Included in the app, is a structured learning curriculum where you are helped to build the necessary attitudes and behaviours which will help you reach whatever your target is (they do all kinds of health management, not just weight loss).

I've been a bit low-key about celebrating my achievements thus far. I need to get better at patting myself on the back. When we celebrate achievements, our brains release dopamine which in turn strengthens our neural pathways to reinforce our new habits. So celebrating achievements has multiple benefits.

Find strength young grasshopper...

There's one for the kids! Anyone under the age of 60 probably doesn't get that reference at all !

But nevertheless, Master Po (how many of you remembered that? Ok - I had to google it !) is right. I have no choice but to stick to the plan for as long as it continues to produce the desired results. If things start to stall, or worse, then I will re-evaluate at that time.

But I can't let myself get distracted with silly worries or insecurities. Staying strong and true will keep me in the calm blue (oooh - poetry!).

It's almost as if the universe is sending me a familiar message...

Stay Strong. Fight Hard. Laugh Lots.

You can find the companion video for this blog here: https://youtu.be/KvyVambW7js