Happy New Year !

So, a new year has dawned and 2020 is with us. A very happy new year to you all - I hope it brings you happiness, joy and basically everything that you wish for yourself.

I always think of new year as clean and invigorating - like a crisp, clear morning in winter. It feels new, like fresh clean bedsheets. People often ask me if having a terminal illness affects how you see the future. The truth is both yes and no. I'm unlikely to start a ten year investment or anything like that, but you still make ordinary plans.

The new year brings hope of happier days and each new year bristles with possibilities and opportunities. OK - so I'm not going to be starting a new business or making any long-term time commitments anytime soon. But one's horizons adjust to new realities.

There is always so much to look forward to - even the prospect of longer, warmer days fills me with happiness and optimism. I hate late autumn when its cold, rainy, short days and everything seems dank and dreary. But as the new year dawns with its explosion of fireworks and frivolity, the days are already getting longer and the sun is already moving closer to us. Soon spring will be here and plants will be flowering, our summer birds will be returning and the scents and warmth of summer will be upon us before we know it.

So, with this new year, maybe I'll get my golf handicap a bit lower, or be able to cycle 10 miles without running out of energy. Maybe I'll feel up to travelling a bit more so I can see more friends this year than last. Maybe I'll find the best home for the IPR from my business and sell it on to someone who will truly nurture it, value it and develop it.

Maybe I'll just feel a bit better this year - and if that's all I get, then I will happily take that and still feel blessed.

So, I'm going to embrace this new year with the welcoming open arms of hope and possibility. Whether or not I see the year out is not within my control so let's just park that and accept that health-wise - what will be, will be. But I intend to live my life as fully but responsibly as circumstances allow. I'm going to enjoy my Saturday game of golf and beers afterwards with my golf chums without feeling guilty. I'm going to work hard at fighting the weight without putting myself on a guilt-trip if I don't do as well as I hoped.

Striking the balance between being kind to oneself and being self-indulgent is always a challenge. Some stray too far in one direction or the other and some manage to straddle both depending on their state of mind.

All I would say is this - as this new year arrives with its possibilities and aspirations, I intend to continue to challenge myself and continue to fight as hard as I can. I intend to continue to offer love and support to those around me who are going through difficult challenges and encourage them through the help and treatment they need. I intend to wrap myself in the warmth of family and friends. I intend to keep writing this drivel even if I'm the only person reading it. I intend to be the best person I can be.

But if I fail, as I inevitably will from time to time, I will not be too hard on myself. I will learn from each failure and use that as armour for the future.

As I said, I wish you all everything that you wish for yourselves.

Stay strong. Fight hard. Smile lots.